Maalkin and the Maid

• a story of  Maalkin, Maid and Corona lockdown

Like any other house,  in our house also the mood of the wife is directly proportional to the  timing of  the arrival of the maid in the morning. The day I  wake up listening to growling or irritating sounds  it’s clear to me that, our maid has made some excuse and  taken a day off. That day I just know what  to  do. I silently move out of the bed escaping the  eyes  of  my  wife, quickly make my bed and quietly get ready for office. Other days when I  wake up hearing the maid getting a  heated scolding and I know she must  have  come 5 or 10 min late…and as if because of that the whole house (which otherwise  moves on clockwise precision) would have gone topsy turvy. The maid  is seen mumbling some lame excuses and series of  apologies followed  by promises  of  never  to repeat  that she  gets to  enter the  home.( all  this  happens  on the entry door itself). After a while the maid   gives  the Maalkin a hot cup of  tea  and the anger melts away as it  had  come and she is  told  to  make one cup  of tea  for  herself  and  also  have  two  biscuits along  with tea. By  lunch time the relationship  of  Maalkin and the Maid is back on  normal till  some other day  when  she  gets late  again (the gap is never  more than 4-5 days). We have a seven hour single maid who takes care of everything washing, cleaning and  cooking , but  she  does not  have  a  free  hand in doing these  errands as the Maalkin is there at home all  the  time and  everything must be done as per her  strict orders   and must pass her tight scrutiny. When ever the maid is genuinely ill , the maid gets special treatment like a glass of hot  milk,  or  a parantha and medicine. While  leaving  even some extra amount  of Rs 20 so that she can go back in an auto-rickshaw rather than walk 3 kilometers to  her home. Next day the otherwise  authoritative Maalkin  even calls her  up to enquire about her health. She also gives her some tips about how to get well soon and convinces  her to come to work after a day.

When the nation was  hit by the  corona virus invasion I suggested that people are giving paid leave to their maids. These words were welcomed  with an   obnoxious gaze and steely words from my wife, the Maalkin , ” who would do all the cleaning and sweeping?  Though  this was followed by some words of reassurance, “you don’t worry because our Maid stays very clean” As always I keep  mum on domestic matters .The very next day The PM’s announcement of junta curfew changed  everything  in  an average Indian  household.  Our society declared that maids will not be permitted during junta curfew. After  a grumble  the Maalkin accepted the PMs decision saying that it  was only for 24 hours and she  will be  able  to  manage it. But the bigger  blow  was  yet to  come. But before  that  UP  Chief Minister extended   junta curfew  for 12  hours  which  entailed  one more day off for  domestic help. The  onerous role  of  maid  was  reluctantly taken over  by  the Maalkin  herself. With both  children back  from the  hostels and at  home,  mother’s  love  flowed  copiously in making some  delectable  dishes which  resulted  in aches  and pains in her  body. Hence, only  meals  were  cooked  but the  house  could  not  be  cleaned. Next  morning our dedicated maid called   up  the  Maalkin and  said that though she wanted to come over,  there is   no public  transport available  on the road. Reluctantly   the Maalkin agreed  that  she can stay at home for another  day. The maid sympathised with  the  Maalkin and told her  not to do  any floor  and utensils cleaning and  she  would be there at  6am next  day morning to do  everything. There was  10 minutes  of  heart to  heart  discussion between them as to how  much pain the  Maalkin was having in handling all this alone.   At the end of the call the  Maalkin  felt so  happy  at the concern being  showered by her maid on   her that  it  became  the  hot topic  of  discussion between the Maalkins of the colony . Next  day  when  the period  of  lockdown was  extended  for  3  weeks  the  Maalkin almost  went  into an anaphylactic   shock followed  by  a phase of stupor. When  the  stupor broke some  pearls of wisdom  were showered  on all of  us in the cosmic  spray of words, “may  be God wants  me to  feed  the children with my own hands”. Next  day morning the  maid  diligently  called  at  6 am  and inquired  what  help she  could  extend  from  home?” The fear  of  Corona  virus  invading  a  human body from  anywhere to  everywhere was  so much scary   that  my  wife told  her, “the  best  way  you  can help  me  now  is to  stay  at  home and  keep yourself infection  free and report on  duty  on  the 22nd  day of the lockdown” . And  remember  , “I  will  pay  you  these  three  weeks  salary only if I find   you symptom free”.   The maid  promised to  take full  precautions herself  and  also for  her  family. The Maalkin then asked  warmly, “is  mahine ki  salary kaise du? “Maalkin  Paytm kar dena” came the snap reply  from our illiterate  maid. Hail Digital India. Hail Maalkin-Maid  sweet-sour  relationship.